Wednesday, June 12, 2013

I believe...

I am exhausted.  Not my normal exhausted where I just need a good nights sleep.  That exhausted where I sit and can't move regardless of what still needs done.  The exhausted that will need coffee, lots of coffee.  Dustin is out of town grading AP exams this week, he has been gone 5 days and won't be home for 3 more.  Tomorrow is Harper's 4th birthday, Dustin's California cousins are coming into town on Saturday, I work Thursday and Friday.  These two days are my last 2 days before switching to a new job.  Dustin doesn't fly in until Sunday morning and that afternoon we are having a birthday party. I am OVERWHELMED with life right now.  I just ate a hot dog... I'm a little nauseated from it.  I have 10 balloons on the floor, I need more to take up to Harper's room.  We are meeting friends for an early birthday morning breakfast celebration.  A very sweet babysitter wants to take Beckett to the zoo tomorrow which means I need to pack him shoes, a lunch, sunscreen, a water bottle, money and a detailed note for the sitter.  The kitchen is a mess.  It is 11:20 at night.  I am exhausted.

But I know I don't stand alone.   Even though I feel very alone without Dustin here right now, I am never alone on this journey.   Here were some of the most powerful words that I read today on a blog that I needed desperately...

" I believe God sees you. I believe God cheers you. I believe your work is holy ground and I am proud to stand here barefoot beside you.
I am convinced that the God who made you, sculpted you, loved you into being considers your story just as important as the work of rescuing women from the slums in Kenya or the traffickers in Ukraine.
Even on the days when no one knows what you did. Maybe most especially on those days. When there are no awards or headlines or standing ovations. I believe that the God who began this work in and through you will carry it, and you if necessary, across the finish line.
And that He understands tired. He gets needing space. He’s lived the burnout of too many demanding hands all tugging at the same time. This Jesus-brother-human-maker who on the day when “so many people were coming and going that they did not even have a chance to eat,” said to his friends, “Come with me by yourselves to a quiet place and get some rest.”
Ain’t no shame in those days, friends.
Nope, I think those are the holy days. The scars-worn-bravely days."

So today I power forward, reminding myself that my work with Beckett, Harper and Perry is very important... and that I am never alone.